What do i say???

First off, the only reason I'm writing this on my blog is that i happen to know that the number of people who read this is less than the number of digits in a single digit number. So, on that note, please stop reading this if you are reading and kindly navigate to another site.

Thank You

Have you ever been in a place where you have so much to say that its like a dam waiting to burst, all thats needed is the floodgates to be opened to let out everything thats being held back, but couldn't say it? 

And it gets harder to say to those nearest and dearest to you. You know deep down that they love you unconditionally, that they're there to share both your joy and your grief.  They've had their share of ups and downs, they say, and they'll understand whatever you tell them.

But how do you tell them that which you really want to, that you really need to, when its so dark and scary that it haunts your every moment?

How do you tell those people, who have so rarely had a misstep in their lives, those who you look upto as the standard of excellence that you will always strive to but fall short of, that which truly ails you?

How do you tell someone that the thing you really fear is yourself?  For you know deep down, that no one can really hurt you, there's no one and nothing to fear, for what others can do can easily be repaired, but the only one who can really harm you is you. For no one else knows me the way i do, only i know what goes on inside my head, and i alone know the fear that i feel, when i cant control that whichs runs through my own head. There's a part of me, which i keep buried, deep down inside me, locked up tightly, afraid to let it out. But how do i tell them about the time it finally broke free, and ran amok. There was nary a thing i could do to stop it, all i could was delay it. Although i managed to cross that hurdle for now, the beast still lurks inside me, ready to take over at the slightest chance, always snarling and snapping, straining at the chains i have used to hold him. But i fear this time, the chains are still weak, and a single weak link is all it needs to break free, and destroy all that i struggle to keep safe.