Monday, April 27, 2009

Incomplete

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It's the middle of the night and I'm awake

Tossing and turning sleeplessly in my bed

Feeling that I know what it is I want

And yet the realization hits me like stepping on a rake

That my hopes should have long been dead

For what I need I cannot say,

At least what I want I think I know

The calm and loneliness surround me

Alone in this city of millions

As I sit here, late in the dark summer night

Listening to the song, over and over

As it echoes my own feelings.

Which I fear to let out, for I am afraid

Afraid of being ridiculed, for I know deep down

What I want and what I feel, is all but impossible

But still I can't seem to shake it

That little flame of hope, burning steadily on

Through my darkest hours, steady and unwavering, refusing to die

When I have damn near given up on it myself,

There is still a part of me, that knows what I need.

Knowing that until I get that which I seek,

This calm and loneliness shall go on.

No matter where I am, no matter what I do

Until I find that someone, I will always continue to feel alone

For I have experienced the depths of loneliness

Alone in a foreign land, and yet here too,

Back home, I still feel that same sense of loneliness

As though a part of me is missing, feeling incomplete

Knowing that it can only be filled by someone else

Who it is, I know not.

I do not even know if that void will ever be filled

All I can do now is hope, that there is someone out there

Who I can open up to and let in, who will fill

That vast chasm that no one has yet seen,

For until that valley is overcome and filled to once again make it whole

I fear I will always be,

Incomplete.



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